This Feels Like a Dream, Better yet a Nightmare

Last night I laid down with my momma for a little bit just to talk to her. We sent dad fishing so it was just us and Austin in the house. I told her it’s crazy to think that I have cancer. You hear about different teenagers having cancer and how it affects their lives but when it hits you it seems to be so much different. It does not seem real and I feel like I will wake up and it will all be gone when in reality it has yet to all start.

This past week was very challenging yet amazing at the same time. Meeting with all the different doctors and learning more about my diagnoses has helped me cope a little better with what all is about to happen. In a way, it still does not seem real but I think when treatments get going and everything settles down it will all sink in, slowly I hope. There is still such a huge decision in my way and that is whether I want to keep my normal looking leg and have other risk factors that come along with it, or have the rotationplasty done and worry about the cosmetic side of things. I am the type of person that makes a decision and wants it done then, so this is teaching me a lot about patience and guidance. God has a plan and this is one of those times that I really need His lead.

This week coming up will not be very exciting. I will start having test and scans on Tuesday that will lead into the beginning of next week. Tuesday I will have a contrasting CT scan on my chest and an eco-cardiogram. One of the chemos I will be having can affect my heart so from here on out I will have to be followed by a cardiologist. ( It would be awesome if my best friend Dallas continues on wanting to be a cardiologist!) Wednesday until next week I have a follow-up appointments with the fertility doctor to hopefully get all of that finished with. Wednesday evening some of my girl friends will be coming up for my wig shopping “party”.

By the end of next week around Thursday or Friday March 24 or 25th I should have my port put in. They will go ahead and admit me after that and start chemo. This first round will be 2 to 3 nights in the hospital that way they can monitor my counts and hydration levels. They said I will feel bad for about a week after and then they my counts will start to come up and thats about the time I’ll have my next round of chemo.

Enough about cancer this week has been amazing. It was a great relaxing weekend since I have been diagnosed. It seems as if the world has been just spinning and spinning with no time to catch up. Today my Daddy took Mom Austin and I out of the boat for a little bit. It was great getting to be on the water and relaxing before everything starts up again.

Thank you all again so much for the prayers and comments to my blog and things on Facebook. The power of prayer is trulying incrediable and I can’t thank yall all enough for them.

Proverbs 31:30

“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; But a women who fears the Lord is to be praised.”

Much Love,

Jillian

 

12 Comments

  1. Hollis Uecker

    Stay strong!

    Psalm 55:22 (The Message)
    “Pile your troubles on God’s shoulders – he’ll carry your load, he’ll help you out.”

  2. Barbie

    Your beauty shines from your soul! Any cosmetics changes God has in store for you will never change the light that shines from you. You are such a blessing to us all! 💙

  3. Cindy Garcia

    You are truly an amazing young person! I love how God works through the power of prayer!

    But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will take up wings like eagles. They will run and not struggle. They will walk and not tire.
    Isaiah 40:31

  4. Jason Fry

    Blessings to you through the ups and downs of your journey. It’s apparent that you blog is a blessing to you as you reflect. It’s also a blessing to us who are praying for you and walking with you.

  5. Kristey

    You are in our thoughts and prayers. Your life continues to be an inspiration to the young people you have come into contact with through your years of 4h.

    So do not fear, for I am with you;
    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
    I will strengthen you and help you;
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

  6. A. Susan

    Jill, you will Always be special no matter your decision. People see your smile, your sparkling eyes lighting up & your interest in what’s happening w/ them & they feel good. You’ll Always be the pretty girl w/ the kind but dynamic personality. That’s what people remember: the beautiful, happy, but kind smile.
    So keep on lighting up the room.

  7. Terry arnold

    U are a very special young lady with a special family. u will do well and go on to do great things. It’s a pleasure knowing u and watching you with Flint

    You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. And my missionary friend has her prayer group praying for u too.

    Terry

  8. Gracie Aguirre

    You are an inspiring and brave young woman. God has truly picked the right person to carry his message of faith, He will lead the way. You and your family remain in my prayers!

  9. nancy

    amazing things will change your life daily for a while. hold onto your God your momma and daddy and your friends. you are surrounded by love prayers and God’s Holy Angels

  10. terri tijerina

    You are an amazing young woman and god will get you through this. Keep the faith as miracles happen everyday and each day is a blessing from God

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