It’s 11:07 and I’m laying here in the hotel bed with momma and Kaci! Kac and I are watching How to be Single and moms rubbing my legs. Dad is in his bed almost asleep… Even though I have a strong feeling there won’t be much sleeping in this room nor in my grandparents room where my bubba is staying!
Today / night was amazing and I feel at peace with whatever God throws at me tomorrow. I know anything can happen but I have a strong feeling God knows how excited I am for 7/7 and how many prayer requests that have been sent His way for me that there’s no other day! I am definitely preparing for the worst (no surgery tomorrow) but expecting the best!
This evening after doctor appointments my family and Austins family met at the zoo for one last outing! I have been begging my parents to go since we started this journey and it finally happened! Yes it was extremely hot, but I had a blast! I got to see my loves….ELEPHANTS!!!! There’s just something about those cuties.
After the Zoo we had a family dinner at one of my favorite restaurants, Torchy’s Tacos, with my grandparents, aunt and cousin, Pastor Jason, one of moms best friends Sheri and Austins family. I love having almost everyone together but it was even better after when we came back to the hotel and had communion. Pastor Jason gave a short verse and sermon and we all prayed and gathered around for communion. That put the Cherry on top of everything. I felt a wave of relief rush over me and knew that no matter what God is with me.
I have known but this journey has confirmed that God does not do things to harm us. I know I’ve blogged before about us asking Him why me and I feel like before this big day I need to talk about it again. There has definitely been so many times where I want to ask him why me. “Why did I get chosen as the “lucky” one to win the stupid cancer lottery?” “Why do I have to lose my hair, eyebrows and eye lashes?” “Better yes WHY WHY WHY do I have to lose my leg!!??” Me and this left leg have been through so much and I don’t understand, but there is one thing I can tell you. This whole situation has done nothing but strengthen my relationship with my family, friends and the Lord. Yes it’s so easy to ask him why me but you know what, I’ve noticed it’s so much easier for me to ask Him why for all these other people I have seen / met throughout this journey! I feel like so many people don’t realize how blessed I am to lose JUST my leg. I have been questioned so many times if this is my only option and my answer is the same every time! NO, this is not my only option but I want to have a “normal” life, play volleyball again, and hopefully one day be able to chase my children around! To keep a normal leg I would not have any of those options.
By being blessed I mean I will hopefully be done with all this in about 6 months and then on the road to recovery, getting my prosthesis and getting back to school and on the volleyball court! There are so many kids I have met that are just praying to see another day! When your put on my position and comprehend exactly how those kids feel it makes you really understand. I pray that no one will ever have to go though this and pray they never have to comprehend how this feels because it’s not fun.
I have truly made the best out of everything God has thrown at me along this journey and I give much credit to my family and friends for that! They remind me its ok to laugh and joke about my future. Some jokes like my dads favorites, “Now we can go to half price nails and shoes.” Most people look at us when he says that but as crazy as it sounds I LOVE when we joke about this stuff. This is my new life and I gotta make the best out of it. No more “Why Me?” instead I will and want to ask y’all to Thank him! Thank him for waking you up each morning and allowing you to lay your head down at night. Never take life for granted because there is not a day promised. God has a huge plan for each and everyone of us and we just need to go along for the ride.
Thank you everyone for all the text, calls, Facebook messages, Instagram post, Facebook post…. EVERYTHING. They help me and encourage me to continue to shine!
“My heart and my flesh may fail but God remains the strength of my heart and my portion forever..”
Much Love ❤️